It's almost Noah's 3rd birthday. Friday at 5:30p to be exact. I find myself thinking about what I was doing in the days before he was born, and I wish it was a happy story with family visits planned, casseroles, and a nursery all set up for a baby. Obviously a husband who gave a shit he had a baby coming would've been nice, but those seem to be optional these days. I'll have to do some interesting spin if Noah ever asks about all this.
First of all, moving back to IL from AZ didn't exactly turn out the way I'd planned, to say the least. When I saw the word 'positive' on the little stick, I thought moving back near my family, and my then husband, was the right choice. I'd get a job doing temp work or some receptionist job, just like I always had done. I dropped out of U of A and started packing to move. My dream of finishing college in 2 more years was coming to an end. A whole new adventure was about to begin, but I just didn't know it was one of divorce and homelessness.
In the week before my baby was born, I was evicted from my apartment and packing my things to store in my cousin's basement. I'd lost my job, & even if I hadn't, it didn't have maternity leave or any type of pay while I was out of work with a newborn. Either way, I was getting evicted.
I had my c-section scheduled for May 2nd assuming he didn't come sooner. I also had my court date for eviction that same day, so I knew I wouldn't be in court and would end up with a judgment on my credit. This proves problematic to this day when I apartment hunt, even with an explanation and having paid it off completely. It doesn't just go away because it was paid. The only thing my ex was doing was coming by to eat the food I bought, on food stamps & WIC no less, even though he had a job and still lived with his mom. Or to annoy me by sitting around playing video games, or complaining it was too dusty and his allergies/asthma was acting up. I put up with it hoping he'd see what he was missing and be a 'real/good' husband and soon to be father. He did manage to put the heavy boxes in the SUV for me, even though I did quite a bit of box lifting and moving myself. I also managed to get into a little accident, since he made me drive back and forth and we got rear ended in a rainstorm.
So the week before my child was to be born was not a happy, exciting time. It was full of anxiety, uncertainty, fear, and anger. Bringing a child into the world with nowhere of your own to go is not something I would wish on anyone. It took me two years to rebound from the effects of my choices and it got worse before it got better. It's only in this last year that I have been on my own with my son and enjoyed having our own living space together. I've also been lucky enough to work at home and have him home with me. So while my story isn't a motion picture success story, I am a single parent who faced homelessness and won. I know there are others who aren't as lucky. This week I'll be trying to write about some of the things I did that helped get me back on my feet, as a way to give back to those who might be in need.