Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day

I think the whole blogosphere has pretty much said all there is to say on this.

I'll be calling my dad later and my kid comes home tonight.

I hope all the fathers out there have a great day today and get to enjoy their day to the fullest!

It's almost over

My week of childlessness is almost over. I get my son back tomorrow and I haven't talked to him since Thursday. I'm not happy about this, but I know my son is having fun there so I'll live. We'll be back to our routine eventually, and I'm sure he'll be full of tantrums and vinegar for a while. I'll live.

Between the weather, PMS, the ex driving me crazy, & missing my child to death, I was feeling totally blah and lazy. I didn't finish sorting toys or clothes or anything else I wanted to do, and I was just LAZY. Totally and completely lazy when I wasn't working. Instead of making me feel rejuvenated, I was feeling so blah today.

I had done everything to waste time that I could do. Read through my stack of books, watched all my DVR shows, and slept as much as I humanly could. I even watched a scary movie, which I NEVER do! I HATE scary movies. I actually started watching it the night before, stopped it, and finished in the daytime. My heart was just racing and I put on Nemo before going to bed so I wouldn't have nighmares. I'm such a dork. Today, I was only awake for just over 3 hours today before I went back to sleep from 1 - 5:00 pm. I'm not sleeping well without my child nearby. I also had a headache from PMS and Tylenol makes me fall asleep. Weird but they do, even if I take them with my coffee.

I had crazy dreams while I was napping. I dreamed I was in one of those reality modeling shows and I was the 'fat' girl. I was trying to find my shoes for a challenge but they were missing and everyone else's shoes were all over the house, hundreds of them. All in my size but they weren't mine, and I couldn't 'steal' their shoes even though they had obviously taken mine so I had none. In my dream, my mental voice kept telling me to just take a damn pair already, but I had to keep searching until I found MINE! Even when the perfect pair, that matched my most fabulously colored dress, were right in front of me I couldn't take them. In other words, the nap sucked.

Anyway, my friend convinced me to leave the house and do something fun before Noah gets home. I tried to weasel out, but gave in since I really was so super bored...and she shot down all my reasons to stay home and mope. So the choice was to see either The Proposal or The Hangover. I figured The Proposal was predictable and bleh to romance, or The Hangover would be low-brow, potty humor which I hate. So I chose The Hangover because really I did not want to see anything love/romance related that might be stupid and even if The Hangover sucked, there had to be SOME funny parts.

The Hangover was f'ing HILARIOUS! I laughed the whole way through, gasped in horror and amusement, and was mortified by the ending credits, in a funny way. It wasn't really stupid like I thought it might be. It was the perfect movie to see for my mood. I wish I could describe why it was so hilarious but it was. Plus, I got to get a little dressed up and wear my new, cute sandals.

Now I feel all motivated to get everything clean and organized before my child gets home! Considering I slept all day, I'll be up all night cleaning, will get groceries and diapers in the early morning, and nap in the daytime before his dad drops him off. This way I can just go to bed when Noah does tomorrow night. I miss him sleeping in my house. My baby is coming home tomorrow!!!! Hooray!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Give a Mile, Take an Inch

For the first time since my son was born, he's visiting his father for more than 24 hours. Seven days to be exact. Most my twitter and facebook followers have been watching my crazy unfold as I go through the paces of "Hooray!" to "WTF this sucks."

I had BIG plans for this week and so far it's not working out the way I saw it in my head. I did not anticipate the ex fighting with me over the visitation. So that was super fun to argue with him before he got our child and almost everyday after. Good times. Completely unnecessary if he wouldn't try to change the visitation on a whim without talking to me at all.

Again this summer, my ex's older son is here from out of state and he's playing super dad. Any other time of year it's a struggle to get him to follow the 1st and 3rd weekends in the divorce papers. Even then it's only Saturday night to Sunday night, not even bothering with the Friday night he's allowed/supposed to take. So exactly what gives my ex the right to tell me I can't talk to my son on the phone while he's at his dad's house? Just because the boy is distracted from all the fun, the ex can't be bothered to dial a phone to put to his ear? I almost lost it and drove to his house to get our child on Wednesday. Making me the bad guy in the process of course. Keeping me from my child means the mile I gave him with this week's visitation will go right back to the inch he takes the rest of the year. Our child is not a plaything & this week-long visitation was supposed to be 'in the best interest of the child' so we could all enjoy it. It's that fine line between being a raging momma & having a happy child that tears at me when the ex pulls this nonsense.

I just don't understand this mentality at all. The saddest part of all is that if he put more effort into seeing his son more often the rest of the year, I wouldn't care or be so concerned about calling. I'm keeping in touch with Noah not just because I miss him, but because as resiliant as he is it's not going to be easy to transition back to reality at mom's house. I get the aftermath and emotional freakouts when my child comes home. He won't even let me go get the mail after a trip to daddy's house. He said he thinks I'm going to stay away and/or leaving him forever. I'm glad Daddy's house is all fun and games w/gramma, aunties, cousins, and big brothers. How fortunate that Daddy has an army of people to help him since he lives at home. I'm glad a week with his child is a breeze. I hope he never has to know how hard it is to be in my shoes. But Mommy's house is like boot camp and Daddy's house is like a 24-hour day pass. Someone has to put boundaries and limits on the kid so he's not a little jerk as he gets older.

It obviously hurts a lot little when my child couldn't take 5 seconds to say I love you, or anything else for that manner. Oh wait, he did tell me off & remind me of his name when I called him my 'baby'! It's been a crappy week so far. It was supposed to be stress free and relaxing, but I miss my kid. I keep thinking he's sleeping in the bedroom. I miss the insanity and the chaos and the yelling to "stay out of the fridge! Close it! Now! All the way!" I miss my munchkin grabbing my hair and hugging my neck before we wake up just to snuggle. I could do without the instant chatter and shouting and jumping on me, but I'll take that right now too!

And so far my house is not yet clean, my laundry has not done itself, and my grocery shopping has yet to be completed. My school work and my seasonal organizing is all just waiting to be finished too. At least I managed to shove toys to the side of the living room so I can get to the computer to get to work. Does that count?

You Might Also Like:

Related Posts with Thumbnails