Tuesday, August 25, 2009


School started Monday, and I'm going to do well, even if I have to hire a sitter one or two nights a week. I've already started my homework for next week. I'm on academic probation so I have to do really well this semester or my options shrink dramatically.

Noah's back to bad tantrums when he gets home from daddy's house, and I think he figured out that screaming is a hot button for me right now. We now have a good/bad behavior chart with consequences and rewards. I can honestly admit I have no idea what I'm doing anymore as far as discipline. *Shrugs* I can say that apartment living with a screaming preschooler and nosy neighbors sucks. Even more so than the gunshots I heard on Friday night.

I'm gearing up to move within the next 60 days I hope. Before it gets really cold and we see snow anyway. God, moving in the winter would suck so bad. Living here another winter would suck so bad.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Pool, Beach, Whatever (pics)

Ah, the end of summer beach adventure! Noah and I were so emotional on Friday we totally needed a super fun weekend. What better way than to break in the new pool passes? We've currently got every weekend until after Labor Day to use them. Here's to hoping they're all sunny and rain-less, at least until the late afternoon anyway. Now I'm wondering why I didn't figure this out sooner when I just could not figure out what to do after the park got old on weekends.

We scoped it out on Saturday, as we had made previous plans with grandma to go Sunday. Saturday was PERFECT!!! We had one little unpleasant 'moment'. Noah almost drowned in 1' 8" water while I stood right next to him! Maybe not drowned, but he inhaled a crapload of water that made him gag while underwater. I didn't put a life vest on him at first (floaties forbidden), and I assumed he knew to blow out his nose and/or put his feet down since he's been in pools previously with other people. Also, he wasn't so keen on putting his head in the water. I looked away to check our stuff on the grass, he put his head under in the meantime, and when I looked back he was doing some froggy swimming type move under the water. It took me a second to realize he was sinking to the bottom and wasn't standing up to get his head out! I felt like a total dunce, we were both totally freaked out for a minute, but we got a life jacket after that and we were all much happier for the next 45 minutes! We played in the sand for another hour to try to warm up and dry out. I noticed that other smaller children obey some unspoken rule about territory and not destroying another child's 'construction'. Big kids, they pretty much do a Godzilla on stuff, either on purpose or accident. I did have to tell two older boys to move elsewhere w/the destruction, but they were good about it.

Noah is so funny about remembering things and what he shows pride in. Before we went to the beach today with grandma, I reminded him no pooping in the swim diaper and to tell me if he had to go. We're not at the diaperless in public stage yet. Plus, he swallowed quite a bit of water Saturday and it showed up this morning. We didn't want that in the pool. So we got home after the storms closed the pool, he napped for a few hours, and then woke up and said to me, "I didn't poop in the water mom!" I love that kid.

THIS is the loser 'Nosy Neighbor' who insulted me. I cannot believe I let someone like THIS get me in such an uproar. The rips in the shirt are on purpose, he's over 55 and dressed like that in public, and EW to the smoking that lingers in the hallway and is against the lease rules. Does he think he's 20 still? I just had to share when I saw this today because it's like the black bar "Dont's" in Glamour but worse.

Friday, August 14, 2009


My poor little man is heartbroken, which in turn hurts my heart to watch. His brother is gone back home and he probably won't see him until Christmas. Nothing can prepare you for this kind of thing. No one tells you when you marry a man with a child(ren) that it gets more complicated when you add half siblings into the mix. There's no guidebook to explaining why the sibling has to leave across the country when summer visitation ends. Add this to why his daddy doesn't live here, and you have a really emotional 3.5 year old trying to process everything.

I try to be sensitive to this kind of thing. I come from divorced parents and stepsiblings. Mindful of this, I took a picture of Noah and his brother together so he'd have something to remember until he sees him again. I put it in his special picture book today with the other photos of him and our family. I thought he'd be excited to see his brother's picture today.

He was NOT happy. He told me over and over that he doesn't like his brother. He said he wanted to tear his brother out of the picture and he only wanted himself in it. He told me to use another picture to cover his brother up. He said he didn't miss him & he wasn't angry. And my heart broke a little with each declaration through out the day. I knew he didn't mean it. I knew he was missing his brother today. I just couldn't do anything to fix it.

I had tried preparing him by talking about before it happened. I tried to make sure he knew his brother was leaving to go home to his mom's house. We've always talked about how his brother lives at his mom's house far away on a plane. There's only so much you can explain to a preschooler and so little they can express back. I never once considered not saying anything and having his brother just not there during his next visitation w/his dad. I think being age appropriately honest and open with kids is best as it builds trust and communication early.

What's worse is that I'm sad for my son losing out on the benefits of a big brother the rest of the year. I still love my stepson too and I miss seeing him as well. Watching Noah play with his big brother is wonderful, and I'm so glad they love each other. I hate that it's only part time due to the distance.

Tonight my son finally crumbled after again insisting that I take his brother's photo out. I just hugged him and let him know it was ok to miss his big brother. I let Noah know we all still love him and his brother misses him too. I told that we would plan a trip to see him soon, and that when he was older he could fly with them to take his brother home. I asked if he was feeling angry and sad and all he could do was nod. Mostly I just let him cry and let him be angry. I still get angry too sometimes, and no, it isn't fair that life doesn't alwasy go as planned and creates chaos like this. I can't imagine trying to figure all this out at 3, when it's not always easy for me at 36. I just hope it gets easier when he's older. For right now, we're all just a little emotional here.


I have like 5 unfinished posts in my head. I will probably never get around to posting any of them. I have a super busy, long day working today. Noah was away all week so today will be difficult at best as his older, half-brother leaves for AZ today in time for school. It's hard to explain to a 3 yo how that works. Then I think about AZ and I miss it, especially when it's 80% humidity here! Plus I've got him in underwear all day w/Pullups at night only. I've got a roll of quarters for the laundry waiting to go!

We're closing out the pool season this weekend, and hopefully next weekend if the sun cooperates next weekend too. I want to stop at the farmer's market tomorrow as well, if we get up that early. Although I just saw 88 for the temps tomorrow so it might be an early farmers market, the pool when it opens, and home to lounge in the AC when it's really hot! My AC doesn't seem to be cooling my house as well as I'd like right now either. Third floor is really sucky in summer, but great in winter. LOL

I feel wilty right now. *sighs*

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Spiders are Coming!

So somehow over the weekend I ended up with a baby spider infestation. I hate spiders so much. In the winter I get the yucky yellow 'booger' spiders that freak me out, but they vanish in the spring and I'm free for a while. So this sucked more than usual because it was so hot and all the windows were closed! I couldn't spray them with bug spray, and they couldn't escape outside.

On Saturday, I kept feeling something tickling my arms while I was working and I killed something I didn't see first. The ex sat on the couch and got bitten up apparently. Heh. So finally I saw a few little spiders on the wall and tried to kill them with bug spray. All that did was make my house smell like poison, make us cough, and I had to open the windows on a 90+ degree, super humid day to air it out.

Come Sunday I woke up to the infestation!!! There were a TON of teeny specks all moving around the corners of my ceiling. I have a vaulted ceiling so this seriously sucked to kill them. There was a broom, a folding chair, and yelling for Noah to stop shaking the chair while I stood on it. My neighbors may have seen me through the window, standing on the couch, trying to smash multiple spider specks throughout the day.

What I figured out later was that I had brought out a comforter from my closet, and even though I shook it out I bet the spider babies were waiting to hatch. When I put it over the couch (long story), they must've escaped en mass. Just now, writing this, I killed another six near the lamplight. Ick. Just ick. If you breathe on them, they blow away!

At least I can open the windows tomorrow and spray the place down with actual spider spray! They will die. I will not have them grow up to be big, scary, horrible, living in my corners, crawling on my computer while I work SPIDERS!!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Why our post offices lose money...

I made a very thrifty purchase of an expensive perfume I've been lusting after for a while. It was on sale, had a gift w/purchase, and I had a coupon for free shipping. I'm thrilled to get it and put it on. What is annoying is this nonsense by the USPS:
Electronic Shipping Info Received, August 10, 2009Shipment Accepted; August 10, 2009, 4:40 pm, ROMEOVILLE, IL 60446
Processed through Sort Facility, August 10, 2009, 7:45 pm, CHICAGO, IL 60701
My town from Romeoville = 11 miles
My town from Chicago = 32 miles

STREAMLINE DAMMIT!!! It is ridiculous that it had to go to Chicago first. This is why our stamps cost so much, inefficiency.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Do I Have a Sign on My Back?

Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I don't understand where people get off giving unsolicited parenting advice. Two in two weeks from strangers. I would totally get it if I was weeping in a corner helplessly or dragging him on a leash or letting him run amok without a word. I do not get what makes people think they can tell me how to parent. I'm seriously wondering if I had a ring on, or a man around, if people would be so quick to 'help' me.

After the Nosy Neighbor (official name now) gave me his 'official parenting advice' to get my kid outside to play, I purposely walked to the drugstore so Nosy Neighbor would STFU. As we came home, that man was out on his balcony shouting to me, "See that's what I was talking about! That's what he needs. That's what I like to see!" Are you KIDDING ME?! And yelling off a balcony! I let Noah jump around the apartment and be loud until bedtime. And those kids Nosey Neighbor indicated my child should emulate in being outside all the time? Seen kicking our other neighbor's car because it has an alarm that talks. Lovely example.

Fast forward to two weeks later, Wednesday afternoon.

Noah and I ran errands, went on a long walk to play at the park for 1.5 hours, and I did one very large load of laundry at the laundromat. I knew the kid would be wiped out during laundry. He was having some issues on the way to the car from the park, "I don't LIKE the car! I don't LIKE laundry! I don't LIKE to go home!" and wanting to be picked up and carried. I knew I'd have to be creative in keeping him sane for two hours. Just two very loooooong hours in public with a super meltdown looming on the horizon. I knew that I'd be doing a lot of counting, threatening, and redirection to ensure he wasn't a disturbance. No pushing the carts, no touching the machines, and no shouting inside. He had a snack and juice and I kept him engaged at all times. I have Cheetos cheese on my clean white socks to prove it!

What he did do was put his foot over the threshold over and over because I told him not to. Every time we'd get near the doorway, he'd stop and slide his foot over to the outside just to test me. He finally put his whole body outside the door and I told him to get inside more than once. Then I pretended to walk away to get him to follow, which usually brings my child running in fear of being left...but it did NOT work! I walked maybe three steps, and he said, "Well go then." and laughed at me. I started to take a step towards him to lead him inside, but as I did, he ran over before he would get in big trouble. Fine. I let it slide because he came back in.

All the sudden, Ms. Random Customer starts telling me that I "need to pick him up and bring him in to make him listen." She obviously read the same sign on me as Nosy Neighbor that said, "Please comment on my parenting." She then continued on that while he's little I need to teach him so when he's bigger it's not as hard, and that's why God makes kids little so you can remove them from what they're doing wrong. That I should get loud with him, and I don't have to spank him, but be firm with him so he knows I'm in charge. She then started telling my child that he has to listen to me because I'm keeping him safe and he could get smooshed by cars if he runs off! Guess which one of us made him cry? It wasn't me. I got to do damage control as she went on her merry way. Here I had been having fun with my kid all day (outside), and then I got that crap dumped on me.

So in the last two weeks I've had some random lady telling me to be firm with my kid even if he has a fit, and a neighbor who hates listening to my child have fits when I am firm. I'm officially done being polite to any more people commenting on how I should be parenting. I am not even for a second going to doubt my parenting based on other people's opinions of my child's behavior. I am a great mom to my son! I know I am because I have a great kid who loves me. Period.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


I just spent a super busy week filled with working 12 hour days to pay the bills, trying to get my kid outside (stupid neighbor), and doing a logo/flyer for a fundraiser.

I'll have more to say later, but I'm going to focus on my kid as much as I can this weekend. He was SO good all week while I was glued to a computer working. We only got out twice for a short walk this week, but Noah finally lost it today and had two nasty tantrums.

The next two weeks will be easier work-wise, and I scheduled 1/2 days on Wednesdays for 'fun days'.

School starts soon and I'm SO ready! I'm also apartment hunting online in hopes the 'perfect' place will show up there. See...busy, but mostly caught up!

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