Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Grass is Greener

Quite often I doubt my choice of working from home. I wonder if financially it's fair to be living in a way that fits our budget, and allows us some financial leeway, but isn't as nice as I'd like us to live. Ideally we'd be in a 2-bedroom, better furniture, better car, and nicer neighborhood. Right now we're comfortable, but everything seems...too small or too old or on the verge of just vanishing. We're fine the way we are for now, but would we be better off tightening the budget to have more space or a better car or daycare/preschool part time?

I'm completely thankful to have a job in this current economy, and to be a single mom working at home, but I wonder sometimes if it's what's best for Noah and I. Not having daycare to pay for is amazing, but then I wonder if maybe he'd like part time daycare/preschool and the structure and learning it provides. These are things I can't always focus on because I'm actually working and I have a schedule to which I'm tied once I commit to it. I love having a flexible schedule to plan things in advance with my child during the day, but I have to make enough to pay all the bills and survive. So I don't always get to spend the time I want with Noah doing educational things. I wonder if having an office job would be easier. I'd be done with work at 5p-ish, and only work 8 hour days instead of 10 or more. I wouldn't relish the commute in this winter weather though. I swear this one topic drives me crazy.

I start thinking about what happens when I need to get a new(er) car as mine gets older and Noah gets bigger. No parent should ever own a 2 door car unless your kids can get in alone and buckle themselves in! My poor back is killing me from getting Noah in our 2-door SUV, which barely holds anything in the cargo area and no split back seat! But it's paid off and maintenance has been minimal up to this point. Now I need break work, and it does weird things in the rain, like not starting. Then I start thinking about the cost of preschool and/or kindergarten, and then I think about how much a bigger apartment costs. Seriously, what did I do with all my money when I was kidless and how is it not all in the bank right now?!

I know I've sat down and done the breakdown for both options. I know finding a job in this market is ridiculous. I know, I know, but as I start to think about the future and expenses coming up, I get nervous. I feel conflicted on this every single day and wish there was an easy answer right now.

Ironically, a fellow blogger 'Hef' on Spewage had a similar post (including title!) about trying to merge working while with your child and getting things done without that defining line of work/school/home life.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Statistics - third time is a curse not a charm!

Thirty percent. That's the probability I failed my test. Oh wait, that's the SCORE I got on my second test. Seeing as how this is the THIRD time I've taken this same class, you'd think I'd get it right this time. I got a little cocky and didn't do the homework. I only took notes on the intruction/book material, which I brought in with me, and I still got a 30%! Seriously, that's like failing an open book test. It shouldn't happen. I even had examples so I knew how the formulas worked. But when I looked at the questions, I couldn't figure out what formulas they needed.

And honestly, how is the answer NOT ZERO, that the probability a company will pass inspection when 1 of 10 is considered passing, and 4 of 10 were found to be defective (or something like that)? It's ZERO probability that they'll pass dammit!! That's the kind of math they used to pass the peanut butter plant apparently. Currently, I'm thinking the probability of me using the tutoring center to be 100%.

Ironically, I got the ones about pulling cards out of a deck and the probability of things like face card vs black, etc. That just means I play too much Texas Hold 'Em!

I just need a C to get my other Associates degree. I cannot let this class defeat me. I will NOT let it defeat me dammit.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Boo Hiss FedEx, Hooray Ebay, and Dreaded Returns!

Hmph! I didn't even SEE the FedEx guy today. Why? Because he just left my stuff OUTSIDE the apartment building at the door and my neighbor brought it up! I was home, no reason not to ring the bell except pure laziness. Even stalking the website, I didn't even know until an hour after it was delivered that I should check outside. Anyone could have stolen it. Bad form FedEx. At least ring the bell before just dropping and leaving, signature needed or not.

More of this on Friday when I have my DSW delivered. If that one 'vanishes' all hell will break loose. Although this is what I see on the FedEx website: "Tendered to USPS for delivery" What the hell does that mean?! Is it coming tomorrow? That would suck since I'm not going to be home most the day. Suckage.

Speaking of shopping, my Twilight Series books are doing okay, but the Limited Edition Nintendo DS bundle is already earning a profit. Scouring my house for more good stuff! Being a packrat just paid off. Now I wish I'd gotten a pair of those Ty dolls that were named after the Obama girls and were retired! Kind of like I wish I'd bought stock in Amazon when they first came out! LOL

Also, buying things online on final clearance with no returns from Torrid is decidedly iffy. I'm undecided about the sunglasses and the tights were SO CUTE but a size too small. My Old Navy exchanges/returns also grew as I'm just not sure washing will shrink things to the perfect fit.

Now that I think about it, I'm going to have to do a separate shopping deals blog since this isn't child related at all is it?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Online Shopping Wars

I'm a complete obsessive when it comes to tracking my packages. It's served me well in the past when my memory chip for my laptop was left outside in the snow (USPS thanks). This time I'm stumped though.

I'm just wondering how Old Navy shipping from Ohio to IL via UPS is only two days straight through IN, but DSW shipping from Ohio via FedEx had to go up to WI before coming to IL and is taking FOUR DAYS?! Just wondering how that works exactly. The FedEx guy better be way hotter than my hot UPS guy, I'll tell you that. LOL

This will teach me to shop in the DSW store down the street next time and not online. Hell, I'll have to return exchange at least two pair when I decide I hate them anyway.

Oh, and I finally started getting rid of my stored forever hoarded crap on Ebay! And yes, I'm obsessively tracking those as well. It's awesome, and how have I never sold things before now?

This in no way indicative of a shopping obsession, I swear! Even if the UPS guy does know the state of my child's health and asks about him. LOL I'm ready to date, and if I have to be a 'bigger' girl dating then I'm going to look damn good doing it! I totally scored on the super clearance sales with stacked coupons, and it's been almost a year since I did an overhaul.

The hair is next....

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sickness

We're all sick here and it sucks. Nothing exciting happening here except work, homework, and reading books. Oh, and maybe some shopping but only if it's on sale, with coupons. More on that later.

Until then, Nyquil PM gelcaps are my friend. Please let the boy's father take him Friday instead of Saturday. Please please please.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Statisticly dating

Seriously, why can't my Stats class AND dating be this easy?


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The boy who cried wolf

He was fine. Told me for two days his ear hurt, needed medicine, and he wanted to go to the doctor, and for $20 he got a sucker and a sticker and a bill of clean health.

It's just a common cold with runny nose that I'm sure the daycare kids shared with him in the two hours he was there. Seriously, the reason I work from home is because every time he goes to daycare (once every six months) he gets sick two days later. I'd be out of any office job more time than I would be in it.

Anyway, the doctor stuck her ear thing in his ear and he magically proclaimed she fixed it and it was all better. All the signs he was really sick...false alarms due to super sticky snot. Although, the last time when he didn't seem sick and couldn't tell me he felt bad, he had blisters on his eardrums from a horrible infection. The guilt over that one still lingers. So I just can't win!

Guess who's feeling the sickness now? Yep...me. Let's hope it's a quick and somewhat painless illness.

(Reminder for me: Height 36" 30% - Weight 26# 5% hooray)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Lows and Highs

The lows of single parenting are when you have Math homework and Design projects due by midnight and you have a sick child laying on you.

It's having only one arm is able to type and move the mouse to finish, but the guilt of not putting all your attention on the sick, sleeping child eats away at you.

It means you can't just run out to get ginger ale when they start barfing.

It means sleeping on the loveseat in the living room so your bed doesn't get barfed on and you can keep them propped up for easier breathing.

It's the sleeplessness that is going to occur with multiple wake ups and a stiff neck.

The highs are when you had previously had a great time at the children's museum, mcd's playland, and then grandma's house all in one day!

It's your child telling you their ear is hurting and that they want to go to the doctor, whom you haven't had to see in 8 months!

Lastly, he'll be better just in time to go to his dad's house. Which I'm not sure if that's a high or a low! Actually, by then I'll need the break and time to scrub the house down.

It's been a while since my son's been sick and we were around a lot of children Friday and Saturday who shared their germs. I expected it, but it still doesn't make it any easier. Especially when it's been a while and you forget how helpless you feel to make them feel better. And how hard it is to hear them cry hysterically and fight you when you try to suction the snot out. The guilt is a heavy weight on my shoulders tonight. Let it be lifted soon.

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