Monday, November 15, 2010

On Writing

This NaBloPoMo thing has been really good for me so far.  Even my wordless weekends keep me motivated without stressing me out.  What a nice change.  Normally when I've done NaBloPoMo, I get stressed out.  Missing random days just made me feel like a huge failure.  This year, something different happened.  I found my desire to write again.

Not that I'm about to go join NaNoWriMo or anything, but stranger things have happened.  I mean, after my son was born, I just lost my passion to write.  I still randomly blogged about my son's growth and development, some venting through my problems, but nothing meaty and full of substance.  Every time I tried to write anything, including my college papers, I would blank.  It's been like having a 5 year writer's block.

Sadly, most my previous writing was lost on an old hard drive and I'll never get it back.  I'd really like to go back and edit some of those pieces and submit them or post them.  The only thing I've got now is about child support drama in IL.  I've been passing the time writing other people's words through transcription.  And I love doing that but it's not writing.  It's like my placeholder until my writing came back to me.

The point being is that I feel like I have my voice back and I want to write about the things I think and feel.  I also want to get paid for my writing and that means I've been hired into the world of content mills until I get my feet wet and can move onto private clients.  I know, I know, it's horrible and taboo to admit that.  In fact, if it was a transcriptionist saying they took a job for only $15-20 an audio hour, I'd freak out on them and give the speech about driving the prices we're paid down into the ground.  I've seen the same argument from the writing camp as well.  It's a stepping stone.

So I'm welcoming my self back to the world of writing.  I'm a content mill whore right now, and blogger as always.  I don't know that my blog will become something more than what it is now, but who knows.  I do know that I do not want it to become what I've seen some really good blogs morph into after getting some recognition.  I also think this will likely stay separate from my paid writing since my single motherhood is personal to me.  I need this place to let go of the stress of parenting my child alone.  This is a place where I can make grammatical and punctuation errors without fear and horror.

So I'm feeling excited and motivated to move into what I see is a natural progression of my current career.  Or at least a move back into doing what I really enjoy.  Writing.

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