Tuesday, November 6, 2012

What a Difference a Year Makes

I wrote Other Mothers on 10/13/11, and then I almost died a couple weeks later on Halloween. I even mention I was feeling sick and Noah was hospitalized for breathing problems that day.

This year, I'm still searching for my identity, but on a new level. Now I'm a disabled single mom. Now I am the room mom, and participate in PTO, but I'm also still the late-sometimes-misses-school mom. At least I can say when the boy misses school, if we're not sick, that I do homeschool type stuff with him. Or at least make him finish his homework from the last time we missed a day. I'm still considering home school for next year.

This year, things are different. I still wonder if I want to keep living here in this town or move to Milwaukee. I just don't know how I feel about bumping into people I know, or that my son goes to school with, all the time. It just freaks me out going somewhere and oh hey, there's so and so from wherever. It also means not making waves with anyone because it'll come back to bite you in the butt later.

This year, I'm just doing the best I can to stay above water. My disability has changed everything and I'm only just about six months out of the hospital on a continuous basis. I have so much to be thankful for, but so much to figure out. I'm also still waiting on my disability appeal, which sucks. Who knows when that'll happen. If it gets denied again, I'm going to have to go to a hearing about it - and get a lawyer. Meh.

This year, I'm just going to be thankful for being alive and my son being home with me.

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